Time changes people, some gets better and some worse.

I'm losing everybody who was close to me once.

nobody seems to notice my disappearence.. 

I have changed, but not to any good

Now I'm shut out people even more than before. I can't tell anyone how I really feel anymore.

I need a to remake my life completly 

Who am I supposed to be?
My actions are all wrong..

Still it makes me happy for a sec
Questions are asked, but no response
Moraly I know the difference of right or wrong 
But my heart wants more than the right way can give....

Trying to find a way out of this.

Keep searching for a new open door which leads into happiness.

Taking the chance desperately, my hopes to find a solution or an end of this chapter.

It hurts to much in my chest to realize that there is no end.

Every new door leads into sorrow in a new way I didn't thought was possible.

   I'm forever lost in my sorrow..

                              Struggling for my own comeback                                        The time is right, why holding on to it?

 Depression has become my home and safety.

Can I really leave it behind?

My little problem started with a simple lie, which grew into a bigger one.

It got so big it maked people around me seems like betrayal is the only solution.

Suddenly the betrayal had gone to far and became hate at last....

I miss the old me who was smart, beautiful and happy all days of the week. My biggest fear was when the TV wasn't working.. Nowdays my fear is how am I gonna stop crying? My personality has changed to something I don't even recognize. All because my sorrow has gone to far. All I wanted to do when I was little has been shattered into small pieces. The little me can't survive this no more, I have lost a big part of myself. Slowly I'm fading away like the air in your lungs.  

Days and weeks have gone by...  I'm not feeling pain anymore the first thing in the morning.

The Stars remined me of a better time, I'm filled of joy for a moment.

I'm wishing with my whole heart that I'm soon will be free from this misery.

But the pain strikes again as suddenly as a car crash, All of my hope is gone now.

This time the wound got deeper into my soul than the others. Only for I was believing for a second.

My heart is tearing apart, I can't heal it no more. The scars are getting to deep, time has stopped healing.. I'm almost empty inside, there's only pain and sorrow left. Can't you take that away too? You have taken everything else, why not the pain you caused? You can't fix this just by saying your sorry. But you can't even do that.. Stop doing this to me, you making me feel even worse when you cry for that sorrow you brought on yourself. It's not my fault, it is what it is. Nothing can change that.